“Success is in the eye of the beholder.” Reed Markham says it best. Success doesn’t have a single, objective reference point— it is relative and subjective. Its entirety cannot be contained in a nice, simple, square box. It cannot be defined by a clean definition.
PSEUDO-SUCCESS
Success means different things to different people. True success is very hard to see and find because there are many pseudo-successes that are more prominent—the main one being goal-oriented success. Some people think of this in light of their careers, academia, relationships, etc… In these aspects, it’s usually a promotion, a good grade, or a prestigious award and once they reach their objectives, their mind rationalizes that they have achieved success. However, most people find that these goals, once accomplished, do not bring complete happiness and satisfaction. They expect more than they actually get and as the days, weeks, or months pass by, their happiness dwindles.
"The happiness you feel when you accomplish a goal is essentially like a drug."
The happiness you feel when you accomplish a goal is essentially like a drug. The first time you accomplish something, you feel a rush of euphoria, but it eventually wears off. The second time, you don’t feel as much of the ‘high’ as the first, and it, too, wears off. You gradually build tolerance to your goal achievements and soon enough, you still feel empty, as if a part of you is missing. You accomplish goal, after goal, after goal. Promotion? Check. New house? Check. Grammy Award? Check. Yet, you find yourself looking for more.
TRUE SUCCESS
Is this true success? Some still say yes. I say no. (Note: There is absolutely nothing wrong with goal achievements— they are necessary and incredibly important.) Personally, I believe true success is equivalent to happiness—finding joy in the everyday things, in the failures as well as the accomplishments. The happiness I’m referring to, is not the surge of ecstasy or euphoria you get after reaching a goal or receiving an award. It is simply contentment in life— an unwavering satisfaction and feeling of peace.
"... an unwavering satisfaction and feeling of peace."
True success is absolutely steadfast and even through life’s struggles and challenges, you are still profoundly happy. I mean, you still experience sadness, anger, frustration, and pain— you are still human. It means that although you experience these, at the deep core of your essence, you are still content. You know that some how, in the end, the positive will outweigh the negative. You have the ability to find the tiny fragments of joy within your pain. You focus on those beautiful fragments while fighting to defeat the monster that created them.
Secondly, success does not exempt you from making mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. It allows you to admit to them, to learn and to move on. Success means you are not stuck in the past, constantly reliving what you should have done, and not stuck in the future, constantly living to prepare. It’s living in the present, living as if you were going to die today yet, simultaneously, live for eternity.
"... you must stretch your mind, mentality, and perspective."
Lastly, success involves being flexible. You need to be flexible to adapt, to adjust for whatever life hurls at you. Just as a gymnast stretches everyday to become flexible, you must stretch your mind, mentality, and perspective. Narrow-mindedness is simply not acceptable (as ironic as this is). Consider another side. It is great to have obstinate opinions and views; but make sure you have thought them through from different, opposing angles.
Success in life is well-rounded; it’s not dependent on solely work, family, relationships, or academia. Success doesn’t come easy— it takes years of work, of determination and sacrifice, of blood and sweat, to attain. Success requires the right attitude— a realistic one, with a touch of positivity. Success doesn’t come to the weak-minded— it comes to those who suffer, who endure, who persevere, who thrive.
Success is not an achievement— it is a state of mind. Only a select few find true success. But those who do, never let it go.
